Underwear Ninja comes with Space Suit: Week with the Kauffam Day 3
 
Underwear Ninja comes with Space Suit
to blog or not to blog, which is the path a true underwear ninja must take? whichever path it be, it will surely be a rough-hewn one. argyle, possibly.
 
Friday, July 02, 2010
Week with the Kauffam Day 3
it was another hot night. rhonda has taken to sleeping with a frozen water bottle in bed. we didn't have pancakes this morning, it was cereal and M&Ms.
after our morning starbucks ritual we headed to the 7 train.
today was blue day. every time i say blue rhonda corrects me that its aqua.
we set out for a quick subway trip to coney island. it was a nice day for coney island; sunny and clear. a bit hot but there was a nice breeze. as if it knew i was coming and made preparations beforehand to combat my whitey paleness.
rhonda was particularly impressed with the bathrooms at the CI subway stop. she has some supplies she carries with her in case any facilities aren't up to standards while out on trips. and she used ALL of them in that one bathroom.
we went to nathan's original hotdog stand. it was about the size of a decent mcdonald's but it was all open to the outside. i was impressed with the amount of countertop space and cash registers they had. surely able to handle hundreds of people in a short amount of time. lots of employees (50?) standing around waiting for the influx of people swarming for the annual hotdog eating competition. it will be in just 4 days from now and televised around the world.
we had to have our own hotdog eating contest of course. and we were into our hotdogs when a homeless chap appeared and yelled gibberish at us and everyone who would hear him. if he had someone following him writing down what he said i'm sure it would read: "GRM DUT FRGL BLGM FLR BHRM!!"
i'm sure the translation is probably "welcome to coney island! i will clean up after you for free! it's my pleasure, have a nice day!"

steve noticed in particular the cell phone radio towers disguised as palm trees on top of the buildings.

i appreciate the layout of coney island. its about as hang-outy fun oriented as you'd hope. there's a beach of course, and then a big boardwalk that runs the length of it, and concession stands and fun in games all along the boardwalk. and on the other side of the concessions are the rides. i like that. see in florida we have beach of course, but it has no refreshments anywhere near it. anywhere. its all hotels and expensive condos. so if you want to spend a day at the beach you have to bring everything with you, and then get your car dirty after. but at coney island everything you want is conveniently spaced as far apart as you want it to be. bravo.

so we headed to the rides at coney island. first on the list was the wonderwheel, in operation since 1929. it has a line for stationary bucket car things and a separate line for "swinging" cars. those cars are on a track in the ferris wheel and glide in the wheel while you're riding it. fun! while we were up there i noticed probably the worst ride in the world. it was little mini monster truck ride that made a circle. no ups or downs, just a circle. i think 5 mini trucks all connected like an elephant line.
rhonda has about the same motion sickness as dad i think. she opted to stay on the ground and take pictures.

we had our hearts set on finding a zoltar machine like in the movie BIG. what we found instead was a granny machine. basically does the same thing except it looks like an old lady and the ticket it prints out says insanely simple fortunes like "your actions will give you great fortune!" or something like that and at the bottom it says "want more fortune? insert more money!"

after that we headed to the cyclone, probably coney island's most iconic attraction. the first roller coaster i think? it was a bumpy ride. and the cars were small enough to assume that there would be more space than this if they open it up. i think my bar is still closed can you open it? what, its open now? you mean i'm contorting my body trying to squeeze in and the safety bar hasn't closed on me yet? o boy... yes, think "mean streak" but built with warwick davis in mind as the average height of the customers.
the coaster is run by a bunch of 20 somethings that don't seem to really care about anything. you go in and they open the bar for you and then you sit and they close the bar and send it whenever they feel like it. no quota or organization really. no head counting. i don't think they paid much attention to anything and wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me they were watching tv or something while they were doing this. this worked against scott because we all got in the cars, scott was checking his bag and camera at the booth, then they let another family in and there were no seats left. dummies. so scott was left just standing there and they just kinda looked at him with a dumb look and didn't know how to handle it so they sent us through. uhhh.. bye scott! it was funny that they had a tip jar after you got off the ride. ha!
rhonda, again, took pictures of us from the street below.

we headed to the boardwalk and got some drinkies and snackies. and we saw a photography crew taking pictures of what i suppose is a clothing model. she had on probably the hottest leather outfit i could imagine for such a hot day. like a trench coat made of thick leather. and a furry fuzzy black/white handbag. they had lights and stands and a fan on her and told her to walk forward and then walk backwards and forwards again and backwards. all with this fan on her. the thing is, that fan did nothing but make noise. the natural wind was blowing her hair around and no matter how high that fan guy set it, it was doing nothing. they finally just decided to turn it off. of note were her fingers. she had troll fingers. it looked like she was cooking smores on her fingers.
then we went over by the "shoot the freak" paintball game. we didn't play it but it was funny hearing the guy yell to everyone to come over and shoot the freak. it looked like a trash alley.

we hit the train back to the city and got off at harold square. scott and mackenzie saved the planet by playing "plants vs zombies" on his ipad. at harold square we went to the starbucks and got $2 frappuccinos because of our receipt coupons from this morning. we went in the manhattan mall and quickly left because it is totally lame with no stores in it really except for jc penny's. i'm going to name it "crummy mall" from now on.
we took the subway to columbus circle. and headed into central park. by now the dusk was starting to set in and the temperature was nice. i really enjoyed the weather and it reminded me why dusk is my favorite time of the day. there was a community band there playing some uptempo tunes.
in central park we saw plenty of performers. a scruffy bearded fiddler who was basically playing open fifths over and over, coulda been tuning his violin for all i know. actually i doubt he was tuning it. it was bad. and of course he had no money. but then a japanese troupe came and was all impressed with this "traditional western music" being performed. they gave him all sorts of money.
saw a little kid doing impressive yoyo tricks, and a horrible a capella family performing by the fountain. some new jersey violin sextet. and a dude blowing huge bubbles. the wind was not helping him out either. the little kids around him, all eager and in awe, would basically pop the bubbles before they were formed. it made me wonder where the heck are the parents!

headed to the subway station by the apple store at the southeast corner of central park.

for supper it was grilled cheese sandwiches. courtesy of steve. the weather had cooled off a lot. it felt great in my apartment! we watched an "obtained" .avi of ice age 3. this would be the first night we had a really good sleep. it felt awesome in my apartment i even turned off my air conditioner! (as if that did anything anyway haw haw)
posted by underwear ninja 4:50 PM  
 
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