Underwear Ninja comes with Space Suit: November 2005
Underwear Ninja comes with Space Suit
to blog or not to blog, which is the path a true underwear ninja must take? whichever path it be, it will surely be a rough-hewn one. argyle, possibly.
Friday, November 25, 2005
happy saturday after thanksgiving one and all!
sitting here with my bottle of courvoisier, enjoying holiday spirits, relaxing by the fire. this truly is a nice, relaxing saturday after thanksgiving; a holiday seldom celebrated outside elite circles.
well ok, so i have a glass of egg nog, watching monty python, and the heating gas is fizzling slowly by the blanket-stuffed window. but it still remains an elitist holiday nary celebrated by most life forms.
the saturday after thanksgiving is, after all, one of the more joyous of holidays that few recall. there has been a long-standing tradition in my family that noone should work on that holiday. and we have kept this tradition alive for generations. other fanciful perks of saturday after thanksgiving is sleeping in, watching tv, and generally making merry. and of course another longstanding tradition of this holiday is that all the stores are open. it wouldn't be saturday after thanksgiving without it. it is, in my opinion, the 7th best holiday all the year! so happy saturday after thanksgiving to all!
posted by underwear ninja 9:39 PM   2 comments
  • At 11:25 AM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    I agree. The tradition lives on. BTW...what are other 6 best holidays besides Satuday-after-Thanksgiving?

  • At 4:02 PM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    Isn't it a tradition to give gifts to your older brothers on this time honored holiday?

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Thursday, November 24, 2005
poor oklahomians
so i'm watching the footage from the parade this morning. my co-worker had our studio camera and he filmed the entire parade. caught on tape is a voice saying "i'm with channel 9 from oklahoma, there's an oklahoma float coming up, can i use your battery for that float?"

wow, channel 9 from oklahoma and he doesn't even have his own camera batteries? what the heck kinda cameraman is this? they were scrapping the barrel out there in oklahoma, huh?

so my co-worker says "what kinda battery do you need?" trying to see if ours are compatible with his. he says "double A"

well, the good news is that we were totally able to supply the cameraman for channel 9 with batteries. the bad news is that oklahomians will have to think of something else to be thankful for besides tv.
posted by underwear ninja 7:05 PM   2 comments
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Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble Gobble to all!

Things I am thankful for:

1. i am awesome
2. my family is awesome
3. marriott hasn't told me to cut my hair yet
4. i'm still alive and kicking in nyc
(4.5. because i have a fantastic sense of humor)
5. my family is still alive and kicking
6. my future is unlimited
7. i get to see everyone for the holidays
8. america was colonized by the english
posted by underwear ninja 12:18 AM   2 comments
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
oi channukah
its no wonder the jews are so misunderstood. below are the lyrics to one of their more well-known songs, taken from the jewish orthodox torah. why would they celebrate such things?

have a tequilla
have a tequilla
have a tequilla
hey, missed my car

hop on, they're runnin now
hop on, they're runnin now
hop on, they're runnin now
hey, missed my car

who? blew?
who blew? ah, him!

who? ah him! he'll have some mayo
who? ah him! he'll have some mayo
who? ah him!
who? ah him!
he'll have some mayo

i guess after a while they added clarinets and fiddles to keep with the jovial effect. or maybe to distract your attention from the words? heck, mozart tried to cover up 12-foot snakes and magic flutes with intricate orchestral runs, why not jews try to do the same thing with clarinets and fiddles?
posted by underwear ninja 2:05 PM   0 comments
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005
pics pics pics

here are the fall pics of central park. woot!
posted by underwear ninja 4:06 PM   2 comments
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Monday, November 21, 2005
nouveau riche
i was asked to do a camera-op for a birthday party. it was for some guy who had just acquired or won or inherited $20 million. so he was living it up big bling style at the marquis for his 45th birthday, with all his pimps and hoes. i mean he was blingin with real rocks on his neck. the kind that you think are fake because they sparkle with all shades of blue, red, and yellowy-white. at first i thought it was the cheapest chains i'd seen come out of the dollar store since lady etty went on a shopping spree. but then i just knew its coz i rarely, if ever, had seen real diamonds before. he bought all of his immediate family new luxury and sports cars.
my job was to go around with a dv cam and get people's reactions and get the festivities in general. you know, like go to everyone and put the camera in their face and they say "happy birthday and many more i love the party" and stuff like that. well this was all fine and dandy out in the hotel. until you went into the room that the party was being held at.
there was 'mood lighting,' which means there are no lights except for the bar and candles. the camera did not pick up anybody unless they were silhouetted in front of the bar. and what's worse, they all were black. so nobody appeared on this poor guy's video. and then there's the music...
the DJ brought the crappiest high-energy speakers i'd heard since the bar-mitzfah days in middle school. so to compensate for the lack of clarity, he juiced the volumn. i had to buy earplugs so i wouldn't go deaf. no, not that kinda deaf. it IS true i'm the deafest brotha on the block. i'm talking deaf as in "are you telling me about a dog salad over the bridge or did you say something about justice involving paper mittens??"
so the camera obviously did not pick up any of what the people were saying in that room. just booming beat noise, which, when you watch it at home, will not have most of the frequencies you hear in real life coz its just a camera mic.
i recorded over 2 and 1/2 hours of this.
the guy also wants to put it to dvd. he doesn't care about the cost.
so now when you put it to dvd he will be able to quickly reference the different chapters of pitch black footage with tinny beats. tadaaa! here's what you paid for and thank you. please return to the marquis soon!
posted by underwear ninja 10:57 AM   2 comments
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Saturday, November 19, 2005
ah, grande ole saturday again
so i didn't work last night and tonight i work at 8pm. being that, i had gotten plenty of rest and had lots of free time. wowie zowie free time!
i decided to go to central park and take pictures of the autumn trees. here's the scene: its cold out. a very nippy afternoon with clear skies. there is a saxophonist under one of the bridges in central park, like a troll, invisible. the trees are brown and yellow and orange and red, and some are dead. i didn't take pics of those ones.
an old lady saw me taking pictures and she waddles slowly up to me and says "taking pictures? you damn scum!" and she continues waddling away indecipherably about me.
my picture-taking expedition took me to the other side of central park and up about 10 blocks.
i wonder how many french people are still in france. i think they're all here. i'd say a typical day has at least 3 encounters with people speaking fluent french around me; central park today was chock full of them. i mean, they have a huge middle-eastern immigration problem and then there's the deal with all those riots nowadays. so are there actually french people living in france now or did they all migrate to NYC?
i'm really psyched about seeing "wicked" on broadway. about a month ago i was staring at a billboard for about 20-30 minutes and i really started appreciating the design. i went home and tried to get a poster online, but they don't make posters the way i want them. they only have ones with flying monkeys on it. apparently i want the "old" one without the monkies and is out-of-print. so i acquiesced to download all the music. listening to it first i thought, "man this is over-synthesized." then i started piecing the storty together; listening more closely to the words. once i learned the words and the story, i really appreciated it musically. now i can't think of any other music during the day. i hum it to myself and everything. its embarrassing. so now i really want to see it. i just have to find someone to see it with, preferrably a girl but i wouldn't mind if i saw it with alex.
anyway, back in central park, i'm trying to get back where i was and i got lost and went to a little concession stand. i got a grilled cheese sandwich. it was stale. it was also $3.50. what in the world business do they have charging $3.50 for a kraft single laying between 2 small pieces of toast? i asked how to get out. he said "walk in any direction and keep going until you get out". smartass.... oh well, i guess i wasn't specific enough.
posted by underwear ninja 8:46 PM   2 comments
  • At 11:17 PM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    Are you going to share your pictures? Now you've got me ready to see WICKED! I'll have to download the music so I can be cool too :)

  • At 7:29 AM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    Wicked! It's coming to Broward in Jan/Feb. Remember.....I wanted to see it first! Yes...share the Damned 'French' pictures.

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ah, grande ole' saturday
really looking forward to friday. and yes, the same rules apply up here as they do down there. big sale on friday that people line the streets overnight to get to. but now there's the added element of freezing! i'm planning on getting there right after i get off work at 10:45pm. that means i'll be there around 12am. heck with all the people in the city, that could already be too late.

to all of you out there in blogland: i have updated my sites so if you wanna hear some new music and/or see a new list of stuff i could use for xmas then visit these sites =)

posted by underwear ninja 11:36 AM   2 comments
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Friday, November 18, 2005
gobbledy gook
so i'm working on thanksgiving, which is great!
i don't have plans so i might as well do nothing at all and get paid for it, and eat thanksgiving meal free. woot! since its just me, everyone else will be working black friday, so i get that day off. woot! i wonder what the best buy on 86th is like up here? do the same rules apply? i need to get myself up there and figure out a game plan for the savings saving slavings!
posted by underwear ninja 1:19 AM   3 comments
  • At 2:35 AM EST, Anonymous Emo said…

    I'm working thanksgiving too!
    Much fun will be had.

    Btw, nice blog.

  • At 6:26 AM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    You can look at the Black Friday Best Buy adscans at http://bfads.net/adscans.html

    Have fun

  • At 6:53 PM EST, Blogger R the Great said…

    Do you get more money per hour for working on Thanksgiving?

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Thursday, November 17, 2005
more babbling about the weather
yesterday morning it was warm enough that i wore shorts and a t-shirt. i was quite comfy. but i was the only one. everyone else had on jackets and pants and stuff. i thought "silly new yorkians"
well that afternoon it rained. a cold rain.
and that night, it was cold.
it got to 33 last night.
silly floridian

i gave a real good look at winter-wear. yet another random encounter talking about weather with someone has yeilded the same response: it gets killer cold in january and i'll need like 10 coats and ski masks and whatever else you wear in antarctica. i don't know how penguins can do it. they're relatively skinny. and wet. and naked!
i watched "march of the penguins". man they got the hard life. and of course i wondered what it would be like if i just ran into the middle of them crazy berserker style >=)
posted by underwear ninja 5:53 PM   4 comments
  • At 6:56 PM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    Stop 'looking' at it......buy something!

  • At 9:09 PM EST, Blogger R the Great said…

    Please tell the weatherman to have 'Florida' weather for us when we visit in December.

  • At 1:15 AM EST, Blogger underwear ninja said…

    well from what i hear there could be mild days and there could be snow in december. its january and february that are the cold ones.

  • At 6:23 AM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    Here comes Ninja, He's Berserker. Take it from the BIG Penguin (cause I know about these things).... we would revolt and throw you into the ocean, then gather on your floating corpse for a swimming party.

    You know what happens when it's 32 and rainy don't you?!! REMEMBER THE BET :-)

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wait til i'm outta sight!
i don't like it when the people at the cafeteria throw away the food RIGHT AFTER i put it on my plate. wouldn't that make your mind wander too?
posted by underwear ninja 1:18 AM   2 comments
  • At 6:34 AM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    I had the same problem when I worked in the bakery at Publix. Each night I'd have to throw out ALL the donuts, pastries, and breads..... all while late night customers are still buying them. I had to be clocked out by the end of my shift, so I didn't really care. As a customer though, it looks really bad.

  • At 6:54 PM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    It's really bad when the folks RIGHT behind get the 'fresh' food. You must really eat late.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
something physchy going on
so apparently the country music awards were NOT held at the Marquis. they were at madison square garden. or at least that's what cnn.com says. so i wonder what the heck was going on at the marquis. why were all these stars there? just what exactly where they doing up on the stage with a banquet and all o dat? what the heck is going on? it definitely wasn't some kinda rehearsal. was it some after-party? before-party? party-for-the-heck-of-it? i am confused and i need justification! did half of them get lazy and decide to stay at the hotel? so they had their awards given at the hotel? ok ok probably not the case, but if they're gonna say they'll have a country music awards at a place, they should follow through on it! or at least tell those poor news ferrets at cnn.com that they're all really at the marquis.
posted by underwear ninja 11:44 AM   1 comments
  • At 11:11 PM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    Ha ha! Nope, the CMAs were at the garden. but I be many of them are staying at the Mark-E. Could have been parties or tributes to each other.... perhaps a round of lesser awards? Anyways, it's cool that they're all there.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
so the Marquis hosted the Country Music Awards tonight. mm mm mmm the fine southern women that were there! very nice. let's see besides all the famous country stars like tim mcgraw and garth brookes and all those country people, there was also nelly, patti labelle, and stevie wonder. the stars were upon us tonight, complete with the finest females one can behold in one night. i don't get star-struck, but stevie wonder is a big deal to me. and there were also fabulous ladies milling about in their best dresses. those country guys do alright for themselves i suppose. is it too late for a career change?
posted by underwear ninja 12:41 AM   2 comments
  • At 1:07 AM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    I agree, Stevie is a BIG DEAL!!!

    I saw the CMAs were going to be in NY and wondered if you'd see any of it. You're "livin' large... in the mix...You're the deafest brotha on the block... make way for MY man (one leg longer than the other)... etc etc etc.

  • At 2:13 PM EST, Blogger R the Great said…

    Stevie Kauffman will be so jealous you saw Stevie Wonder!

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Sunday, November 13, 2005
the people at the marquis have stopped saying "alright" as a greeting and farewell and everything between.

you might think that this story has a happy ending, based on the context clues of what i've just said.

instead, it has digressed to "aight" and for a while, it was "aight" for "hello" "what's up" "not much" and "cya later". but now, it has digressed even further to (get this): "aaa"

yes, yes my friends it has reached an all-time low. now people you pass in the hall casually say "aaa". i say "whats up?" and the response i get is "aaa".
posted by underwear ninja 10:54 PM   3 comments
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Saturday, November 12, 2005
mr toad's wild ride
have you ever been on mr toad's wild ride? did you know that it's not based on a book or cartoon or anything you'll find in mass media? it's actually based on the city of ny.
do you ever wonder why this city has such a reputation? how did it get to be at the forefront of people's minds, the news, and overall wonder? well i'll tell you why, my friend! because things just happen here. you do not have to do much to experience the "thrill" of ny. just be here long enough and something will happen. like my ride home tonight, for instance.
let me set the scene for you:
it's 5:15am in times square. somewhere in the upper 30s. a medium breeze blowing. there are 2 hookers on the sidewalk that as you pass they wink and ask if you need love. then you get down to the subway and sit to wait for the train. a man is yelling up on the street, you can hear him through the grates in the sidewalk: "ALL OF YOU!!!"....... "EVERYTHING!!!" over and over until he's out of earshot.
the train comes. on the other side of the tracks. its not the train you want, but then the announcer says that its the only train going uptown right now. so you have to get on.
we reach 72nd st, my stop. but the announcer says 42nd st and closes the doors too fast for me to look at a sign. d'oh! my bad. his bad too! he probably will cost me an hour after you figure in going to the next stop (96th) and taking a train down. maybe, in the time wasted, the bus will have already left and i'll have to wait for it to make a complete round before it gets back here because there's only 1 bus at 5:25am. annoyed and bitter at his (and my) mistake, i hope his cat leaves a present in his shoe while he's sleeping.
so now image you're at 96th st. waiting for the southbound train to come. there's a train coming. it gets close and, o shoot, its a garbage train. for those of you who don't know, at night sometimes you'll have garbage trains come through. they only serve to raise your hopes up and leave you, again, annoyed. yes, i'm quoting webster's on that.
the south 1 train comes and takes you to 79th. the bus is still sitting there. YES! you run to catch up because his signal is on that he'll be leaving now. you get on and head to the back. the bus shuts off.
shuts off.
the doors open.
starting up again.
is that the bus i hear coughing?? i coulda sworn the bus was coughing up a muffler.
now we're off. doing fine on our way to 79th and york. as we pass 3rd ave: WHAM! WHAM!
what was that? i'd imagine it to sound something like lighting up-close. seriously, there must have been an open manhole that we plowed over. the emergency windows are now flapping freely with the motion of the bus. and now the electronic sign in the back is half-broken, half-falling down. kinda a safety hazard i spose. the driver chugs along merrily, unconcerned.
i arrive at 79th, walk to my apartment on 78th. there is a key stuck in the building door. probably because the locks don't work in the cold weather. they'll have to replace that.

overall ny will show you that people are people no matter where you are. laughing helps.
posted by underwear ninja 6:23 AM   4 comments
  • At 9:34 AM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    You need better hours. Something in the daytime when not as many creepies are visible.

  • At 9:39 AM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    I've been watching the Food Network. Are you anywhere near these places?
    Dylan's Candy 1011 3rd 10021
    Cowgirl (restaurant)519 Hudson
    Veniero's (bakery) 321 East 11th 1003

  • At 9:40 AM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    Check and see what your time is set to....I posted this at 9:40 AM, not 6:40

  • At 7:27 PM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    Dang. I'm glad I have a car :-)

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Thursday, November 10, 2005
go to the upper tent - meet bob
it would be cool if i could climb walls. it would be easier to get to the top of a wall if i wanted. insects can climb walls. so can spiderman. walls help keep buildings up. they also help keep things inside. buildings have 4 walls. this means nothing. so mbp called me again and i got to work on setting up a show at lincoln center. there were actually 3 shows, in 3 different places. again, it was a 10-hour call but this time i got out after 5 hours. woot! so i'm still getting paid as i write this.
i was setting up plasma monitors for playback. in the first tent The Beachboys are performing. in the next Lionel Richie is performing, and inside the building Elton John is performing. all tomorrow. the weather is chilly and windy. everybody tells me i need to get a down jacket. like, a jacket that has feathers in it. so i'm thinking i'll need to get one at some point. i've gotten a lot of xmas shopping out of the way, but i still have half the people to do yet. i think i'm still on top of things. this is a random-thoughts type of entry, huh?
posted by underwear ninja 5:29 PM   2 comments
  • At 7:43 PM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 7:49 PM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    Christmas shopping finished? I'm impressed. You can't wait till Christmas to get a warm coat.
    OBTW.....I've entered your apartment in Ellen's contest of who has the smallest apartment in NYC. I think you qualify. Don't ignore a call from someone from NBC or Ellen. She often gives away money (today it was $4,444.44 and yesterday it was a van and last week $10,000) Hope you win.....MOM :-)

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survey says....
so there are some good movies coming out for the fall/wintery season!
chronicles of narnia, harry freakin potter, and king kong dingalong. i actually have a desire to see these movies. its been a while (since hitchhiker's guide) that i've cared to see anything coming out of hollywood.
here's what i expect from these movies:

-will be visually stunning. and an adventure i don't quite understand. i will probably feel like they didn't do a great job telling the story. maybe i'll even feel like its too graphic-heavy. but hey, its FANTASY at its most fantastic. i gotta see it, so there!

-this book has been probably my favorite in the series so far. there's just so much that happens. and the most evil woman ever is in it. ooo i love the drama and story with the triwizard tournament and the resurrection of voldemort. all the corruption within hogwarts walls. great pivotal book for the series. being that, i gotta see it, and i'm expecting to be disappointed that they left so much story out like they did on book 3. but hey, its a new director so maybe he can squeeze more story in. i hope he doesn't sacrifice entertainment value (*ahem* star wars prequels) to squeeze more story in. you know, i wouldn't mind a 4-hour movie. i think harry should be the pioneer for this long-form movie type. you can have an intermission and everything. i'd totally go.

king (kong) of ny
so its king kong, and its peter jackson, and it's in NY. i sorta feel obligated to go. if its any such let-down like godzilla was when they redid that, i wouldn't be suprised. but, its petey boy so maybe it'll be alright. besides, its in NY! maybe i'll get lucky and he'll trash the upper-east side >=)
(or better yet, trash the marquis)
posted by underwear ninja 1:03 AM   1 comments
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Tuesday, November 08, 2005
new kicks
check out the new kickin icon! i got this at the official ninja turtles website, www.ninjaturtles.com, in the fan art section. on page 14 to be exact. i think it is up-to-standards with a true underwear ninja.

in unrelated news, the marquis is celebrating diversity through the employee cafeteria. but not with any exotic/ethnic foods, mind you. but someone brought in what looks like a middle-school project on the subject of "etdtmubarak". i have read it over and over and i still don't know how to pronounce it. it looks like one of those trifold boards that you staple essays and pictures to when you have a science project to put in front. but instead there is a creepy blank-face head with a muslim hair cover on. and an urn suspended from the ceiling in front. and a rug. or maybe a tapestry. i can't make out any of the pictures on it. whatever they're celebrating i'm convinced it is a minority group of some sort. is it wrong of me to want it to disappear by tomorrow??
posted by underwear ninja 4:30 AM   2 comments
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Sunday, November 06, 2005
a good idea? or...
And now, for the next installment of:

the section dedicated to bringing into focus those items that some "genious" invented and is trying to sell through a mail-order catalogue or a flier that you get on an airplane.

in this issue:
what your pet wants most in this world
a better way to play games
fashionable weather-gear

so apparently someone thought it would be a great idea to put pets in strollers. nevermind that they have legs. or even that they might be trying to go to the bathroom. look how excited and happy they are to be in the pet strollers. look at that cat. how would you describe that gaze?

here we see some young, posing kids and a "grandfather"-type looking ever-so-happy to be playing some sort of old-timey baseball game. well i gotta say they certainly know how to market that piece of trash. grandpa looks happy that he has to hold it in the air in order for it to work. what you don't see is how he will get tired 1 minute from now and the game will be over. but before that happens the kids will get tired and want to play something electronic, like video games. not pictured: 3 days from now it is in pieces in the trash!

who is that down the street mowing their sidewalk? r2-d2? let's get a closer look. it seems to be some kinda machine that ate someone. wait, no. oohhh, its just old man withers! my how stylish he is using a box-thing to protect him from the elements. do you think the man pictured here would purchase this? its almost a good idea except that his legs are exposed and its so boxy the draft will whip right up through the bottom. so much for weather-proof. but still, at least he's the best-looking, non-awkward driveway snow mower on the block.

posted by underwear ninja 1:37 PM   2 comments
  • At 2:20 PM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    HAHAHAH, Do you think Dad could use one of them snow-mower hoods for christmas? I can't imagine standing in the foyer trying to put that thing on before stepping out in the cold winter air. Then there's the matter reaching underneath or unzipping to reach the door handle.

  • At 3:11 PM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    OMG.. I laughed so hard I cried. I can't believe these are real products. Gypsy would just love the stoller. I hope it as roller blade wheels for a 'smoother' ride. Might get a little bumpy. And the walking telephone booth! It doubles as a DELUXE umbrella for working in the rain!

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Saturday, November 05, 2005
pretty good night
i got a call from mbp to set up plasma screens at the "tavern on the green" in central park. the call time was 11:30pm, 10-hour minimum.
oy vay, xmas is coming up, bills are coming up. i'll have to take the money and suck it up. it is $25/hour after all.
after about 3 hours all work was done and i was released. but still a 10-hour minimum. so hooray for that. i'm still getting paid as i write this entry. freelance work is cooler than full-time work. not only that, but while waiting for the crosstown bus a taxi pulled over and yelled through his window about some kinda discount.
"pay me whatever you want to go across town" he said (he was headed that way and wanted help paying for a carwash he just got). i gave him $3 and learned that taxi drivers set their own hours and negotiate all their own prices. most things in ny that are not an established company are negotiable. all in all i'm happy about the way tonight went.
posted by underwear ninja 3:53 AM   1 comments
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Friday, November 04, 2005
creepy people 3 - the conclusion
so i'm on the train and the guy is sitting directly across from me. again he asks "why did you wake me up" and i get defensive and say "look it seemed like you were falling asleep and i was letting you know when the train got here so you don't miss it".
he says "ok you were helping me out, then?"
i nod.
he says "you helped me out, i'll help you out".
i dismiss this and nod again, and he says again "you helped me out, i'll help you out".
i dismiss this again. so now i know this dude is tired and weird. still, being weird is nothing to fear because there is a plethora of weirdos and this one is just weird too.
he strikes up a conversation with me. actually, he leads the conversation because i'm not in the mood to talk to him. he asks me questions, i give him one-word answers.
"where you from?"
"what part?"
"how long you been in NY?"
"about 3 months"
"what brought you here"
"an internship"
and then he crosses the train and sits next to me. at this point i notice the womens' shoes he has on, previously covered by pants, because he was replacing them with slippers. i'm thinking 'damnit, now what?'
he continues his convo.
"how old are you?"
"26" for some reason i knew before i said it, that the answer to this question would make or break my impression of this guy.
he says "26. nice and young. i like young"
BAM! ok great.....we are at orange level now and i do NOT want to talk to this guy anymore. he proceeds his creepy convo and i am being ambiguous as hell.
"where do you live?"
"100th and Lex"
"you live with anybody?"
"yes, 2 brothers"
"baby, you can come uptown and take another train down to Lex, then"
(yes, he called me "baby"!!)
"no i'll take the crosstown bus"
he got annoyed that i wasn't going uptown that far with him.
"why did you wake me up?"
"if you wanted to catch the train, i was giving you the chance to"
"so you were being a nice guy"
annoyed at the persistance of questions that i've answered already and as distant as i could make it sound: "yah"
"i'm gonna be good to you"
"i'm gonna be good to you"
again, distant with irk in my voice, "i'm just gonna go home"
the train slows down as we get to my stop. i don't want to let him know it's my stop until the last moment. maybe i can leave him there and the doors will shut and he'll be on his way uptown.
it stops, the doors open and i say, roughly, "you have a good night" and get up and i scurry out the train.
he follows me out the train.
he says something to the effect of "wait up" or "hold on" and scurried out before the doors close. that plan failed. NOW my heart is beating faster. not until now did i feel threatened, but NOW i'll have to do something about it.
i am ignoring him and walking fast, he should be getting the signal by now. he has to do a sort of jog to catch up to me.
i go through the turnstile, he's closed the gap between us and went through the turnstile.
i'm angry and ready to fight....
i turn around, abruptly, finger pointed at his chest, and bark in his face "I don't need you following me! You go your way and I'll go mine!"
he puts his hands up and does a sort of shrink like a dog does when it's master gets angry at it.
"woah woah" he says
i'm no longer scurrying, i'm marching up the stairs and being mindful to listen if he is following or taking another exit out of there.
i did not see him appear, and my bus came so i was able to put my mind at ease that i'll never see him again.
so now i see that being nice has a price. or at least it CAN have a price. you try to be courteous to strangers and you just can't. you don't know them. you don't know what will happen. anything can happen. he didn't look homeless, he looked like a dude who was gonna miss his train coz he was too tired. it was the day after halloween, after all. maybe he was out partying and got wasted. but no, he was a fag prostitute and he was not going to let me get away. and now, even if i feel compelled to help someone i don't know, i have to exercise more restraint. not that i don't want to be a nice guy, but i'll have to choose more carefully how i do this. i certainly won't be waking anybody up.
posted by underwear ninja 9:08 PM   2 comments
  • At 6:28 PM EST, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    Creepy is right. All of that personal information was none of his business and you can just tell them so.

    Guess who has a blog. :-)

  • At 6:30 PM EST, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    Yikes! You should have given a big "None of your business" when he started asking you questions on the train.

    If I find him when I'm up there in December, we'll slap him around and call him "Susan"!! :-)

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creepy people 2
so i get off work at 5:15am like usual at the marriott marquis and i get to the subway and wait for the no. 1 uptown. i notice a dude bobbing his head on the bench. the kind of bobbing people do when they're fighting to stay awake. he's dressed nice, not like a homeless guy, and i think "the dude is gonna fall asleep and miss his train". then i feel sympathy because i have
been in this situation: up all night and you fall asleep and miss your train, your stop, your mind, whatever it is you miss something because you're over-tired. so when the train came i nudged him and said "hey man, train's here". what a kind guy i am!
his response: "why!?"
i am taken aback and say "hey i just saw you falling asleep, if you're waiting for the train, it's here, if not, then whatever" and i proceeded to get on the train.
he looks at me, and then follows me on the train. (i have an appointment right now. more to come later)
posted by underwear ninja 5:17 PM   0 comments
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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
creepy people
now i get it. now i get why this town is the way it is. now i see why there is a distinct lack of courtesy in ny. this town actually prevents people from being nice. i had to learn this lesson myself. chalk it up for wisdom and it makes me a little bit harder. a little bit colder. i was trying to be a nice guy, and it blew up in my face! being so i can see now that there probably more nice people in the city than one would think, but you are not allowed to be nice because you don't know what you're getting yourself into. how did i reach this conclusion? how did i learn the lesson that you can't be a nice guy? i'll explain next blog.
posted by underwear ninja 8:53 AM   0 comments
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Name: underwear ninja
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