Underwear Ninja comes with Space Suit: July 2006
Underwear Ninja comes with Space Suit
to blog or not to blog, which is the path a true underwear ninja must take? whichever path it be, it will surely be a rough-hewn one. argyle, possibly.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
early afternoon banter
a semi-cute latina came walking up to the bench i was sitting at waiting for the 7 train. a dude (miguel, i would learn) sat next to me and she sat on the other side of him. here's the convo that occured:

H-what's your name? (at this point its clear she's a hooker)
H-your cute
H-you have a girlfriend?
M-hmmmurhhmm no
H-you want one?
the rest ensued in spanish, but i could make out "cinco"(5)

i was a little disappointed that she didn't solicit me instead :( i probably have more money than miguel and i look better. not that i would have accepted necessarily, but it'd still be nice to have been asked!
posted by underwear ninja 7:40 PM   2 comments
  • At 7:44 AM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    haha, So hooker propositions has become the latest "hot or not".

  • At 1:39 PM EDT, Anonymous Steve said…

    Well... either you're not "cute" enough or maybe it looked like you didn't "need" a girlfriend. I think it's a good thing that you didn't look like a john.

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booze and the city
i went to "the cutting room" to watch a guy i work with play in a band. its a place like no other. a vaudeville. with singing old grannies, nuns telling one-liners, and transvestites that do a dance in a chicken costume while stripping totally naked.
not really my kinda place, but i promised i'd see the band.
and then i saw "mr big" from sex and the city. i had to do like 10 glances coz he didn't quite look like him (no makeup?). i mentioned it to someone and they're like "o ya he owns this place".

i wish i could say we hung out and stuff but i didn't really know what to say. "hey man! what's up"
I didn't really like the vaudeville anyway.
"hey man i never watched sex and the city much. this act is kinda lame. what's up i'm mark!"

but it was kinda cool anyway. makes sense though that he would be here in nyc. silvercup studios is in queens (where they filmed the series). actually, silvercup is the largest film studio in ny. and they're looking to expand and build a highrise in LIC. my train passes there every morning but i never see anything going on.
posted by underwear ninja 7:21 PM   1 comments
  • At 12:11 PM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    Chris Noth is even listed in Wikipedia as co-owner of The Cutting Room. He's Uncle Steve's age.

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viva taco bell
i went to the queens center mall the other day to drop off my cable modem. its a mall very unlike the rest of ny. clean, bright, upscale... reminded me of florida malls.
and the food court reminded me of florida malls. and i ate at taco bell.

now the thing i like about taco bell is that its not authentic. real mexican food is full of ingredients that may or may not sit well. and then its expensive of course coz its authentic. much the same with all these new york restaurants. chinese, italian, french cuisine... they're too authentic!! too pricey, too "special," and too tasty. taco bell was fantastic! food that will fill your stomach and be bland enough to just get the job done and move on. and its cheap coz they use grade F meat. that's how i wanna do mexican food (sometimes)
posted by underwear ninja 7:14 PM   3 comments
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Saturday, July 29, 2006
he's no match for missile-missy
ever wonder "what can i do to my cat to humiliate it that hasn't already been done?"
well, here is another way..
action cats!

it looks like a SNL skit, but still is funny when you think it could be a real product. they did a good job on it too. it reminded me of "dino riders" from the 80s.
posted by underwear ninja 11:43 AM   2 comments
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006
we kidnap and ravage and donkey-la-hoot!
yarrr mateys! me went n' saw pirates a'da caribbean yar!
it be a foiyn film, says aye!

those critics can take their reviews and put an X on em and try to use their new map to find their arses. its a movie about pirates doing piratey things. and i like pirates doing piratey things.
and what's dis now 'bout derr not bein a plot. der be a trickines' plot 'er two says aye!

wouldn't moiynd takin' a peep agin!

posted by underwear ninja 10:41 PM   5 comments
  • At 7:59 AM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…


  • At 4:44 PM EDT, Blogger live.laugh.love.20something said…

    Did you sit through all the credits to see the special ending???

  • At 9:37 PM EDT, Anonymous Steve said…

    I need a pirate-to-english dictionary to read this review

  • At 11:25 AM EDT, Blogger live.laugh.love.20something said…

    Stupid blogger..crapped out on my original reply.

    Um, basically after the 4 hours of credits they do a lil bit with the dog now being king of the island, and he's got all the garb on and they start their rituals....

  • At 10:11 AM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    I see the pirates are becoming mainstream. On Corsair's website (maker of computer memory), they offer instructions in many languages....INCLUDING PIRATE!

    Check it out:

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Monday, July 24, 2006
the armpit of the northeast

i was to attend the international game developers' association (IGDA) yearly meeting on saturday.
the meeting started at 1pm at bloomfield university. the website said you can get directions on how to take NJ transit from the website, which i did. the website said to take a train from 34th st penn station to bloomfield station and walk across broadstreet until you get to liberty street and its right there.
i left at 11:30am from heavy melody, got to penn station at 11:45. find out that there are no trains to bloomfield on the weekends.
so i am told to take a train to newark and then a bus to bloomfield. already i feel uneasy about this coz trains and buses can kill you if you get multiple lines on the same stop. which, incidentally, happened.
next train to newark departs at 12:07. how exciting to be on a real train! and to go over a bridge made just for a train! weeee!
arrived in newark about 12:30p
i'm told that the bus i want is the m72. that bus departs at 1:10. grrr i'm gonna be late coz of these dumb public transportations, but i'll just be a little late i suppose.
the m72 gets here and i get on and we start going east instead of west to bloomfield. hmmm was that info guy realllly that sure where bloomfield university is?
i call chris (my producer) and his friends (who know the area) and i start rattling off the streets i'm passing.
washington street
broad street
broadway (weird..)
they say "you're going the wrong direction. get off the bus"
o great. so i get off at some non-descript stoplight. in the burbs i guess.
man what a dump this is. its like something you don't wanna see. think of like 1950s poland. i'm asking where broad street is... where liberty street is...
"no english"
ok so i'm walking through a rough spot i guess. boarded up houses. people yelling in spanish from inside the houses. woopty cars passing every now and then blaring some nice rap tunes and reggaeton. not "ghetto fabulous" woopties, just "ghetto" woopties with no frills. paved sidewalks chunky and falling apart into the streets. fat hooker on the porch says "sup sweety...."
ok ignore her and move on.
another oldish hooker on a porch asks if i got a cigarette.
moving right along i pass a dude yelling at this other dude "i'm gonna be back in 1 hour! you better have my money!" the other dude says "aight" and walks off
then the first dude yells "what did you say?!?!?!" and the other dude starts running away... and i'm thinking i'm gonna witness something here so i'd better just keep walking.
i'm looking around at cars passing sparatically, thinking "man i hope i don't get shot"
(side note, i do know people that have been shot at, and some that have seen people get shot. in fact, my new roommate john has seen people get hosed down in a bodega as well. its chilling to hear the details from a first-person perpective)
old black dude approaches me and asks if i want to buy dvds. then he shows me his "lady" dvds. he speaks english well enough so i ask him where liberty street is.
he says "man you got a helluva walk!"
he points me down the street and towards another street and up another street.
i walk about a half hour and end up where i started at the newark train station. its about 2:30 now and i found out that the m72 DOES go to liberty street, but first it makes this bigazz loop around town first. it takes about a half hour to get there. and that bus departs from the station again at 3:30
so i ask all the taxis nearby if any take credit card and they all say no of course. you should always carry $60 cash anywhere you go! just so you know....
fie on newark!
so i go home; defeated, beat, and thirsty. and at that point i still didn't have power. that cranberry juice cocktail was the sweetest nectar on earth!
posted by underwear ninja 9:12 PM   6 comments
  • At 10:49 PM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    Hey Hey, sounds like a dream vacation... if you like skank hoes and ghetto thugs.

    Glad you didn't get wacked.

  • At 9:34 AM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    Good thing you've got the power of Greyskull.

  • At 9:52 AM EDT, Anonymous Newarker said…

    Tsk, tsk...so close-minded!
    It's not anyone's fault but your own that you don't know how to get around outside of New York. And yes, you went into a bad part of town. But characterizing that as the whole city would be as though I stumbled off the subway in Bushwick and thought that was how all of NYC is. I quite happily live here in a nice neighborhood at a reasonable price and with wonderful neighbors. Newark may be the underdog, but I love this city and feel compelled to speak up for it. Lord knows, there are enough New Yorkers moving in now that at least some of you agree.

    Take care (and ask for directions at the train station)!

  • At 8:45 PM EDT, Blogger underwear ninja said…

    the problem is that i asked for directions from people at the train station. it wasn't until after i got off and went back there that the guy said "o ya, it makes a big loop first".
    but to be fair.. yes i probably was in the raunchiest part of town.
    jeez, its just a blog. settle down

  • At 9:48 PM EDT, Blogger R the Great said…

    what interesting tales you have. You should print out your blog so you will always have a record of your time in NY.

  • At 7:35 AM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    It's not just perception.... Newark is recognized nationally as THE most dangerous city in the USA. That puts it in the crapper in my book.

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by the power of greyskull..
i have the powaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

yes my power came back on sometime last night while i was sleeping. it was a nice suprise to wake up to my ceiling fan spinning. i hope it lasts!
posted by underwear ninja 8:13 AM   4 comments
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Sunday, July 23, 2006
queens welcomes me!
so the big move happened on the 15th. July 15.
i rented a uhaul van to get me to my new apt in queens. i was called 2 days before and told to be there at 8am. I show up and they say nothing until 9am. ok, great. so i wait around for an hour in harlem until the lady who can give me the keys shows up.
i bring the van to 78th street, but of course there's no parking. being a nice guy, i want to make sure other people can drive by the stupid narrow street. so i park under a sign that says "no standing anytime mon-fri 10pm-4am"
apparently you can't stand there AT ALL in the small hours during the week. so whatever, i'll park there.
and i got a $115 ticket for parking in a no standing zone.
so i'm lugging all this stuff into the van. and losing all my energy going up and down and up and down these stupid stairs. damn the stairs! get in the van and drive to queens.
driving on the queensboro bridge was fun/a little scary. i somehow took some turn and got onto the bridge via a little side-bridge lane. like all the other cars were on the bridge, and i was on the outskirts of the bridge, next to the water. very very narrow was the ride. i have video i will post. yes... i was taking video and driving a van on a narrow bridge...
moving IN was no problem. my new puerto rican roommate and his dominican wife and kid were not there until the evening. at which point little miguel (4 y/o) wants to play "hombre arana" and i'm supposed to pretend i'm getting killed.
i spend all sunday laying down area rugs and setting up the computer area. everything is strewn about and i only have that up. tomorrow i will continue setting stuff up.
a rain storm sweeps by (not a big one, mind you) and knocks out my power. there's only one 7-train running now. so now i have no power and another rain sweeps in. a big rain that leaves everything muggy. no fun staying at an apt with no power.
might as well too becuase i have a HEAP of work to do at heavy melody. all the voice-over was messed-up by out illustrious VO-director. we had to re-record many characters by ourselves and edit it all and try to make sense of all the papers that were given to us. meanwhile Franck (the french game developer for NWN2) is asking us (in mediocre english) about why there is dialogue missing and why these characters are speaking to themselves ect.
four 13-hour days and gallons of coffee later, the VO stuff is re-recorded, edited, effects-processed, and properly named. but, i still have no power.
con edison has no idea what's wrong and are saying that if you don't have power, you should call them because they don't know who does/doesn't.
so i'm in the dark, nothing has been unpacked since, and having some caffiene withdrawl.
welcome to your new home in queens, mark! =D
posted by underwear ninja 2:35 PM   3 comments
  • At 9:41 PM EDT, Blogger R the Great said…

    Congrats on your move. I don't envy moving alone in NYC, but at least you are done. Keep up the blogging once you get your power back! We love to hear from you.

  • At 10:14 PM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    It's all that hurricane karma coming back to bite ya. "I never lose power, ha ahhahahahahahah"....

    Brooklyn, Queens, and Staten Island residents served by KeySpan should call 1-718-643-4050.

    For Electrical Emergencies or Customer Service
    If you want to report an electrical emergency, such as a fallen wire, or have a question or concern about your Con Edison bill or service, please call the number listed below.

    Call our toll-free number 1-800-752-6633 (1-800-75-CONED)

  • At 2:33 PM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    Drama-drama moving. You had excess heat when you moved to 78th. You had power, just no 'cool'.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006
astro circus
is it just me or does this NASA team seem to be the worst NASA team ever?

foam is falling off the shuttle on liftoff after they triple checked that all foam was secure. "o ya we checked it o ya and its all secure and everything is fine". then, on the news: "pieces of foam falling off the shuttle. foam falling off the shuttle was blamed for the columbia disaster etc etc".

then the saftey jet backpack almost came off of the astronaut on his spacewalk! is that some sort of "oops" moment or is it like a "wtf!" moment? but if that wasn't enough, his solution was to duct tape it. i mean i'm a fan of duct tape, but therein lies the problem: they are not being smarter than I am!

so ok, whatever, use duct tape to secure your safety jet pack. but now on the news is that the dude lost a spatula in space. a spatula....
a spatula?!?! what was he using a spatula for out there on his space walk?? ok maybe not making pancakes, maybe (i have my doubts) but what use is there for a spatula when working with a billion dollar piece of equipment? why a spatula? and how could he lose it?

buncha clowns up there. i think this is the result of the cutbacks NASA had to make from the decreased funding.
posted by underwear ninja 5:26 AM   2 comments
  • At 8:29 AM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    1. NASA actually launched over the objection of the saftey engineers. They knew foam would fall... but when and how much foam was the question. After reviewing the tape, they are tickled that it went so well. Like they said before they went up: There is NO POSSIBLE WAY to eliminate risk. They get paid to manage that risk. If they didn't, nothing would EVER get off the ground.

    2. Spacewalking astronauts lose tools all the time. I watched the yesturday's spacewalk for about 30 minutes on the NASA channel: and although I didn't actually see the spatula float away, I can totally understand it. They were testing methods to repair heat tiles... they needed the spatula (among other tools) to spred the goop (which is the consistency of peanutbutter). These tools are floating all over the place when they work and although each tool has a tether, they have to constantly clip and unclip things with their big 'ass gloves. I'm suprised they only lost one tool.

    3. Duct tape has their new commercial slogan :-) It's the tape of the future of space travel.

  • At 2:07 PM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    One of the blog sites I have bookmarked is an engineer and her husband who both work at NASA. She posts pictures she takes and the backstories along with stories of her CRAZY neighbors and her 6 dogs and birds.


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Wednesday, July 12, 2006
guess what
today i was recorded saying lines to be the "thief" or "rogue" character in NWN 2

yes, i was "generic male 5". one of five that are generic characters, but they are not unimportant lines. thing is, these are the voice sets of the player. when you're choosing your character's looks, race, abilities, ect. you are also able to choose the voice set.
if you want the "rogue" voice set, you'd get ME!
and you'd hear me all through the game saying things like "my weapon's not working!" and "everyone, group up!" as well as hearing me grunt when you attack and writhe in pain when you're dying.

that was pretty cool
posted by underwear ninja 8:03 PM   3 comments
  • At 10:19 PM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    OK, gotta buy this game now!!!!

  • At 10:23 PM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    So you are a 'generic male' and a rogue one to boot. WAY COOL. Did you get to choose you?
    I know you've heard plenty of games, so you know what to do. WAY, WAY COOL.

  • At 8:47 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Super Duper COOL!

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Sunday, July 09, 2006
viva italia
i knew italy won today when, coming out of work, i saw a vw bug (oldschool style) with a sunroof opened driving down the street.

well, ok that's not ALL...

it was makeshift painted red white and green, had maybe 10 people inside, and a dude with red white and green face paint spouting out of the sunroof. and holding an oversized italian flag. with a whistle. kinda like clowns i suppose.

because of that i'm glad they won. i can't imagine any frenchie doing that. they'd probably just get more snooty.

what i don't terribly understand though is how people can get so emotional about it. i mean, "bragging rights"??
what bragging rights. the only people with bragging rights are the players. what did the chump sitting on a stool drinking beer do for the win??
i would save all the celebration for when you're in the company of the players. other than that, i feel like "oh, well good for them".
posted by underwear ninja 10:16 PM   3 comments
  • At 11:19 PM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    World Cup Soccer is 100 times bigger than any Super Bowl, Olympics, etc. It's the number one sport in the world and the tournament only comes around every 4 years. HUGE bragging rights

  • At 6:09 AM EDT, Blogger underwear ninja said…

    well i know why this would have MORE bragging rights. but i just don't understand bragging rights in general.

    the PLAYERS have bragging rights. the spectators? none

  • At 9:18 PM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    Ah, point made!

    But I'm still gonna wear my Gators Jersey when they win win win the National Championship this year!

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..by craig thompson

a graphic novel that takes about 4 hours to read. love it love it.

its frigin brilliant. but it centers more on the emotional side of the events during childhood and teenhood so if you haven't experienced the things he writes about first hand, then it might not hold as much meaning to you. i've noticed that when it comes to parts that i haven't been through, i feel detached. it's just words and pictures. but the parts that i have been through, it strikes a home run on the how well he captures the emotion of the moment in his drawings.

anyway, that's been my bedtime read and just thought i'd put it out there.
posted by underwear ninja 10:26 AM   2 comments
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Friday, July 07, 2006
july 4th

i woke up this morning feeling refreshed for no reason at all.

so here is some video of what my 4th of july was like in the evening. not the best quality video, but you just get an idea of what the atmosphere was like.

and this is a picture of just how bloody far away from the fireworks we were. the people that actually paid for this cruise were pissed and were gonna try to get their money back because they were told they would be right by the statue. all those lights by the statue down there... those are all other boats! wtf!

the building on the right... can you spot the workaholic?
posted by underwear ninja 6:29 AM   3 comments
  • At 10:37 AM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    I couldn't get the video. When I click your picture....I get a bigger picture. Is it my brower?

  • At 3:32 PM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…


    You forget to link to your video

  • At 10:16 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We saw the video. It just takes a while to load. Thanks for sharing your 4th with us. We love to get a peek into your life.

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Happy July 4th!
today marks the anniversary of the birth of our country.

and it also marks the anniversary of arriving in new york city!
that's right, it was exactly 1 year ago today that i arrived in new york with a rented SUV of everything i could bring from florida. i put all my stuff in an apartment on 14th street that my best friend alex was staying in and prepared to start an internship at heavy melody. i could only stay there for a month while his roommate was on vacation. it was a nice pad to crash into while i was looking for a place to live. i went to walk around the city and take pics with a digi camera my bro gave me (which ate AA batteries like candy) and stopped on the shore to watch the fireworks. after standing around for 3 hours i decided to watch it on tv. which i didn't do coz i fell asleep. man the city was hot!
it was a different time back then.
for the month of july i was interning for 3 days a week and making sounds for a video game based in india called Kotarkh. i was calling the director of event technology at the marriott marquis every other day for a month to see about starting my job there. i left a girl that i really liked in orlando and we talked every day. i played halo 2 on xbox live with alex every night for a month. had a horrible time scouring the land looking for an apartment, not having ANY idea the extent to what i was getting into. i was looking for the best pizza in NYC. and every single day when i got up and hit the streets for a day of walking/searching/taking pics i had the broadway song in my head.

so happy 4th of july in a few different ways!
posted by underwear ninja 11:18 AM   0 comments
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Monday, July 03, 2006
bodies: the exhibition
I went to
Bodies: The Exibition
today and wasn't allowed to take pictures.

man there is a certain intensity about seeing real (ex)people's muscle fibers, bones, and guts.
ok, that sounds gross, but it wasn't really gross. it was scientific and learning more than anything else. not "artsy" at all, but interesting nonetheless.

the things that struck me most were the arteries/veins, overweight lady, and the fetus exhibit. btw, the fetus one had a warning that it would be intense. and it was...
because you know that these were real people. and most of them look asian, and young...
they showed the entire process in weeks/months of a fetus from conception to baby all using real ones. there was even a girl torso (15 y/o?) with a fetus (about 2 months?) inside. very very humbling...
but it really helped get a grasp of how that fetus is growing.

the overweight lady was chopped lenthwise in 4 slices. it showed the muscles and the fat deposites. and in a very real way.

and the veins and arteries were especially intriguing. all of the cells in the body are not more than a few microns away from an artery. they had a process by which they would inject the vessels with some kinda hardening solution, and then chemically dissolve the skin away. you could see the human form made up of all the veins and arteries. spectacular. like cotton candy. the main ones would branch out like tree limbs and then turn into cotton candy. sorry, i don't know how better to explain it. you could see all the internal organs (made entirely out of blood vessels). i actually never knew how all that worked.
posted by underwear ninja 9:40 PM   3 comments
  • At 10:16 PM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    I wonder what happened that so many young people had died....with a fetus inside, too. That is sad. You can understand old, infirm, and sickly but not young.

  • At 12:10 AM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    As long as it's cotton candy... and that's for me!!!

    I should have seen it when it opened in Tampa.

  • At 10:00 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Steve and I saw the exhibit in Tampa. Kinda neat for the average person to see. Steve had seen a lot in med school.

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Sunday, July 02, 2006
look! look! mark's short hair

yes here is my hair after its been chopped up. i know, it looks like i'm permanently holding onto one of those static machines.
well, it'll grow again. in the meantime, at least my head stays cool in the hot summer.
posted by underwear ninja 11:30 PM   4 comments
  • At 4:49 PM EDT, Blogger Big Penguin said…

    At least people don't call you TOE head!!!

  • At 7:49 PM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    NinJA, it looks great! Did you do it? or did you go to a professional?

  • At 9:03 PM EDT, Blogger underwear ninja said…

    i did it with the 1" setting on my shaver, and then i switched to the 1/8" setting for the sides. then it grew out a little and voila.

  • At 10:01 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Watch out for the LINE OF DEATH. Did you cross it?

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some more about airplanes
well ok, this isn't about airplanes, its about airports.
i think airports should put art in the terminals.
makes sense, right?
you get there an hour early just in case. and then what? a magazine? an ipod? the stupid news on tv?

that's all fine and dandy, but to be able to wander around your terminal and get lost in some cool art would be a nice thing too.
maybe a sculpture or two. there could be new art, like a museum. for that matter, why can't a museum showcase some art at the airport? you definitely would get the traffic. hell it could end up being a big deal to have your whatever shown in the JFK airport museum or something like that.
posted by underwear ninja 11:47 AM   2 comments
  • At 10:23 PM EDT, Blogger Iris Blue said…

    I agree. Ft. Lauderdale has 'Art in Public Places' and has art on display at the airport. Of course it's never enough when you have so much time AND the vendors want you to buy their magazines and food.

    How's the move?


  • At 10:06 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lots of airports do have stuff like that. Phoenix had a museum room and Tampa had some local art this last visit.

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Name: underwear ninja
Home: New York, New York, United States
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